Eleanor
Roosevelt once said, ‘Do one thing every day that scares you.’
She
could have just said, ‘Go to law school.’
Law
school, for the first-year students, is basically a life of constant fear.
(Also,
from now on, I will say 1Ls, as that is what the first-year law students are
called. We are 1 Laws, I guess? 1 Lawyers?)
Our
professors use the Socratic method to teach – and terrify – their students.
This means they call on students at random. Some look at the roster, in which
case we are all fair game, and some look into the crowd, in which case everyone
employs her own strategy – look them in the eye, look away, look smart – and we
hope for the best.
Some
professors prefer to choose a victim or two at the start of class and stick
with them through the entire hour. Other professors bounce around the room and
call on many students each class, kind of like a game of dodge ball, except
dodging is not an option.
The
most intimidating class so far is Torts with Professor Dingles. Professor
Dingles has a fancy accent, solid abs and stories of his time in the army. On
the first day of class, as we were walking in and seeing him for the first time
and he was seeing us for the first time, my roommate asked him a question. He
looked right at her and confidently said, ‘Thanks for pointing that out,
Caroline.’
Clearly
he had studied our names and photos beforehand using the online law school
directory.
Although
he seems like a nice man, Professor Dingles is clearly determined to give us
the law school experience, which consists of lots of reading with a side of
humiliation. He typically chooses a handful of students each day – claiming
they are on ‘his list’ – and fires questions at them at a rapid pace.
On
the first day of class, he looked out into the crowd and picked Jane. He had
trouble remembering her name for a second though and in the process of
remembering it, he scared the hell out of me: ‘Clare! … No, Sam! … Jane!’
My
heart skipped five beats. I nearly fell out of my chair.
On
the second or third day of class, Professor Dingles called on Davis, who was
sitting right next to me that day. I sat through class praying that Professor
Dingles would be satisfied with Davis’ answers so that Dingles would not simply
wander over to me. Dingles told us on Day 1 that sometimes he is looking for
the wrong answers, so he can lead us to the right one. For this reason, I try
to indicate through fantastic eye contact that I am completely following
along and basically totally brilliant, so he should probably just call on
someone else.
That
seemed to work for the first three days of class, but then on Day 4, I got hit.
He
began by calling on my roommate, who sits next to me. Caroline did well for a
while, but then one question stumped her. Lucky for me, I had my materials
ready. (My desk looks like a warzone every day. I have my computer, books and
papers sprawled all over, in a very organized but still overwhelming way. My
friend Austin sits next to me and asks me on a daily basis to keep my chaos out
of his space.)
I
started off well, keeping up with the professor’s pace and keeping my panic
concealed.
After
hours of delivering nothing but perfect answers, he asked me a tough one. I
babbled incoherently until I could tell he wanted me to shut up. Aside from
that one question though, I pretty much felt like a rock star.
But
wait. The best is yet to come.
Later
in the day, I glanced at my phone and saw that I had an email from Professor Dingles.
I thought it would be another email to the whole class telling us which cases
to memorize for tomorrow. Instead, I saw, ‘Hi Sam.’
I
opened the email and saw a small glimpse of heaven:
‘Hi
Sam.
I
wanted to thank you for your participation in class today. It was clear you
were well prepared. Keep up the good work.’
Basically,
this was my very own Elle Woods moment. (Legally Blonde the Musical – Buy the
soundtrack.)
‘Ms.
Woods, you just won your case.’
‘OH
MY GOOOD!!!! Wait, hold on, we just won the case! OH MY GOOOD!!! Elle got all
up in Warner’s face! OH MY GOOOD!! I am starting to like this plaaaace!
Yeeesssss! Omigod!’
