Fishy food

To those of you who may have forgotten I have a fish, I have a fish. His name is Alejandro. I visited him this weekend. He is living in style.

Come back in time with me now to Alejandro’s childhood.

Alejandro once lived in the basement of Southern Hall, where my newspaper staff and I spent a good portion of our lives laboring over The Student Printz. We purchased Alejandro within our first week on the job, and we installed the ‘Fish Cam.’

Behind Alejandro’s fish bowl we put a webcam, so that our readers could watch Alejandro swimming around and they could also peer through the fish bowl and make out blurry figures of staffers working on the paper. How cool is that? Certainly thousands of USM students tuned in on a daily basis.

After our first semester, we decided the fame was getting to Alejandro’s head; we also decided the ads that played before allowing readers to watch the Fish Cam were too loud and likely startled our unsuspecting readers. So we did away with the Fish Cam, but Alejandro continued to live in the office throughout the second semester.

When summer arrived and we went our separate ways, no one wanted to take poor Alejandro, so as the editor, I took Alejandro under my wing, assuming this was part of my responsibility. So I brought him home and left him with Mom and Dad while I interned in D.C.

So he lived there for a while, but then when I acquired my current job, Mom and Dad shoved the poor fish off on Andrew. (I guess feeding him once a month and never changing his water was getting to be too much for Mom and Dad.) So Alejandro lives in Gulfport now, and Andrew actually takes good care of him, as you may have noticed by his fancy living quarters.

While I was visiting Alejandro this weekend, John coincidentally texted me and informed me that he bought a fish. Like all of you, he had forgotten that I had a fish, so I reminded him. We then sent each other pictures of our fish. Meet John’s fish, Kahlua.

 

Because John and I are old and boring, we discussed our fish again tonight.

John: What do you feed Alejandro?

Sam: Well, I feed him nothing, but Andrew feeds him those little pellet things.

John: Oh, right, those little pellet things. … So not bloodworms?

Sam: EW. What the hell are bloodworms?

John: It’s what the pet store told me to feed Kahlua. They’re supposed to be nutritious.

Sam: Bloodworms?! That sounds really gross.

John: Yeah, it is pretty disgusting. I can barely stand to look at them. They are literally bloody.

Sam, after making vomiting noises: Is it like … dried up though?

John: No, like, there’s dripping.

Sam: THAT IS SOOO GROSS.

John: Yeah, but it’s supposed to be good for them.

Sam: Alejandro’s been living off of these pellets just fine for nearly two years! I haven’t fed him any bloodworms!

John: Yeah, I don’t know about this. And I’m supposed to refrigerate them, so like, do I put them in the fridge next to my ketchup?

Sam: Please don’t.

John: What if I, like, get pepper in my eye, and then I reach into the fridge and I can’t see, and I accidentally grab the bloodworms?

Sam: This conversation is disgusting.

The gift that keeps on giving

One of the best features of the convent is its unique “Box of Free Stuff.”

Despite the pizza thieves that live among us, we have generous residents who leave little treasures behind when they check out and head back home. During major transition periods, such as now when the spring semester interns are leaving and the summer ones are arriving, the magical box seems to be constantly overflowing. So people like me, the more stable convent residents, take this unnecessary crap and hoard it in our tiny rooms.

Today I obtained a D.C. guidebook that appears unused. In recent weeks, I have also found a bottle of shampoo, a large bag of pretty ribbons, Ziploc bags, brown paper bags and sheets.

I debated on the sheets for a while because I could hear my mom telling me how gross it would be to take someone else’s sheets. (My mom refuses to eat after anyone, including her own children.) But the sheets looked so new and clean, and then my friend Michelle said she knew the girl they belonged to, so it wasn’t like they belonged to a total stranger … Right?

Well, I took them and washed them and then put them in a drawer in my room to hold until the next time someone visits me and needs them for an air mattress. Then today I decided they were really cute and put them on my bed. Whatever.

I also have seen other great items in the box, like cute shoes, clothes with tags still on and roller blades. I’m not sure if I’m still capable of roller blading, but I’ll let you know.

The Eagle has landed

Guess who I saw yesterday.

I’ll give you a hint – He lives in a white house.

YES I SAW THE PRESIDENT!!! Finally. I mean, I’ve been living here for six months, and he lives right down the road.

So my friend Magda had arranged a White House tour for Jackie and me, and as we are lingering in some kind of lobby area, a girl my age makes an announcement.

“We have something special planned for you guys today. As you may have seen on the news, President Obama went to Afghanistan yesterday. Well, he is on his way back right now, and we’d like you guys to be outside when his helicopter lands to wave at him and welcome him back home.”

At this point, people begin cheering, and the woman in front of me just bursts into tears. Within seconds, she is sobbing and looking around wildly as if Obama is about to walk into the room.

Jackie and I just look at each other with huge grins on our faces and exchange looks of disbelief. Magda remains calm, because, you know, she has met the president already.

So they herd us outside, and we all scramble for front row spots. We then stand there staring at the grass for twenty minutes or so, while they deliver instructions, such as, “Don’t yell things at the President. He’s had a long day.” “Be ready for hurricane-force winds; remove anything that could fly off of you.” “No videoing allowed, only pictures.”

As we wait, we see Bo, the First Dog, scurry along the lawn. The oblivious dog was met warmly with shrieks and awwwws from the crowd.

Eventually, the helicopter made its appearance in the skyline, and it was soon hovering over us, doing some major damage to everyone’s hair. When it landed, three guys got out of the helicopter.

Then, alas, the President climbed down the stairs and walked across the lawn, waving to the crowd. I tried to wave extra wildly and smile obnoxiously, and you know what, I THINK HE LOOKED AT ME!!!

After our quick glimpse at the President, we went about the rest of our tour. I then went back to work and my mundane life, wondering when my next celebrity sighting will be.

Andrew’s wondering, too. This morning, he texted me: Hey, what are you doing? ‘Oh, you know, just getting brunch with Bill Clinton!’