Burning down the house

I started a small fire Wednesday morning.

Awaiting my scrambled egg whites, I slipped a piece of bread into the unusual toaster they have here at the convent. It looks like the toasters at Quizno’s, where the bread rides along a moving platform through a large metal machine.

Anyway, I placed my bread on the toaster, and somehow the bread fell under the moving platform, slipping through the thin metal spokes that normally carry the bread. For a moment, I thought this would be fine. The bread would simply glide through the machine and return to me unharmed. No big deal.

Within seconds, I realized this was not the case. Small flames suddenly appeared on my bread, and, while I spent a half-second debating whether the flames would subside or worsen, my bread quickly became engulfed in flames.

Panicked, I started to shriek, feeling the need to alert everyone in the room to the fact that their lives were in danger.

“My bread’s on fire! Oh my gosh! How do I turn this toaster off?! My bread’s on fire!”

One of the cooks ran to my aid and reached into the toaster with a pair of tongs. I knew this was a futile effort, however, because the bread was trapped beneath the metal spokes. The cook soon realized his attempts were only angering the flames, and he turned the toaster off.

I thanked him and hurried out of the room without my usual piece of toast, unwilling to risk starting another fire.

In other news, I have decided that, if I ever write a travel guidebook on D.C., I will give five stars to the gelato place in the building where I work. I will specifically recommend the dulce de leche and the Georgia butter pecan, featuring real live pecans in the gelato. It is heavenly. Seriously, heaven for me will be this gelato shop, filled with celebrities … and maybe my family and friends.

The weather in D.C. has been very strange. We seem to be having a mild winter, and I honestly believe the reason for this is me. I can’t help but feel that God knows I’m here – and that I cannot handle cold weather – so He’s looking out for me. I mean, the highs are in the 60s this week – and it’s the end of January. How else do you explain that? Exactly. It’s a miracle. And it’s all for me.

Lastly, my sister started a super cool internship last week. She is working for a former president. So, you know, be sure to tell her she’s awesome.

Catch you later.

Livin' la vida D.C.

Andrew came to D.C. this weekend, which means Sam morphed into a crazy tourist again. I made a fun-filled agenda for the weekend, going so far as to print out the agenda and hand it to Andrew upon greeting him at the airport.

We took the Metro to our hotel to drop off our luggage – my cute Vera Bradley and Andrew’s ridiculously large rolling duffel bag, carrying four pairs of jeans for his three-day weekend in D.C. We walked into Georgetown and had dinner at a trendy pizza place, where we ate at the bar and totally looked like locals.

When we left the restaurant, Andrew quickly spotted D.C. Cupcakes and decided we had to go. I had not foreseen this, and I struggled to accept such a drastic change in our agenda, but Andrew convinced me. I also had never seen such a short line at D.C. Cupcakes before, so I figured I should take the opportunity. I became even more convinced when the guy at the counter gave us two extra cupcakes for free.

We then hailed a cab and headed to the World War II Memorial, where we nearly froze to death. From there, we walked to the Lincoln Memorial, then the other memorials nearby, including Martin Luther King.

We walked home from there, which felt longer than I had expected, probably due to the 30-degree weather. We decided that for the rest of the weekend, we would splurge on a cab instead of huffing it.

Saturday morning we headed to Arlington, where I assumed we would see the basics and then scoot. Andrew, however, acquired a map at the Visitor’s Center and thwarted my plan. He instead wanted to mosey about and see things like the Battle of the Bulge Memorial.

Next we did the Pentagon Memorial and then a quick lunch at Union Station. We toured the Capitol and then took pictures at the White House. We had dinner at Old Ebbitt Grill, and after that, we stopped at the Boy Scouts Memorial nearby, where I read from my agenda some history and facts about it that I had found online. (Go ahead. Tell me how impressed you are.)

(Also, please note that Andrew is an Eagle Scout. That is the reason for our trip to the Boy Scout Memorial.)

We then had some time before our 7:30 show – a political satire/ musical – but we headed there early so we could have some time to relax. And good thing we did because it took forever to go through the security line and then to find the actual amphitheatre in the large building. You’d think an amphitheatre would be easy to find, but it’s not.

By the time we found the theater, it was 7:30 and Andrew and I both needed a quick restroom stop. He ran toward the Men’s, and I toward the Ladies’, only to find that the Ladies was closed for cleaning. Flabbergasted at the inconvenience of this, I instantly darted into the Men’s. It was the only way.

We spent Sunday with my Virginia relatives. They picked us up for Mass at the Basilica of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, and then we toured the FBI training center in Virginia. For dinner they took us to Macaroni Grill, where I ordered a pizza and took the rest in a to-go box.

On the box, I wrote, “SAM’S PIZZA. DO NOT EAT.”

(These community refrigerators at my place are dangerous.)

My little cousin then elaborated my threat: “SAM’S PIZZA. DO NOT EAT … or death,” the latter part of which was clearly written in a young boy’s messy handwriting, giving it a nice creepy flair.

Andrew then finished it off: “SAM’S PIZZA. DO NOT EAT … or death … will find you.”

(Thanks to my sweet cousin and boyfriend, my pizza survived the community refrigerator and was waiting for me Monday night. I feasted on it while watching The Bachelor.)

As the weekend came to a close, I asked Andrew what his favorite part of the weekend was.

Andrew: I really liked the cupcakes … and the Capitol.

I question whether Andrew really liked the cupcake experience or just the fact that we got free cupcakes.

My week of fame

BIG NEWS. I have finally achieved my lifelong dream of becoming a celebrity.

Here at the convent, the managers select a 'Woman of the Week' every week. I never pay much attention to it, but luckily Jackie noticed my billboard in the cafeteria yesterday.

When I moved in a few months ago, I filled out a form for this, and some kind person used my information to make this collage, which is sitting on display in the cafeteria. I took a picture with it, like a total freak.

So, normally I fix my hair up nicely for work. However, my power went out Friday morning while I was blow-drying my hair (for the second time this week), and I didn't feel like straightening my hair in the hallway again. So, in my pitch black room, I threw it up in a bun and hoped for the best.

Jackie and I just got back from seeing My Week with Marilyn, and as we were walking home, we heard someone singing loudly behind us. I was very impressed to hear such a nice voice coming from what I assumed would be a crazy person. When the guy walked past us, though, we saw that he was a completely normal guy. He seemed to be running an errand, carrying some grocery bags. He was wearing headphones and obviously just feeling the beat. He even let out a few little dance moves. I think we should all be more like him.

To conclude this post, I have included some photos of me using my Christmas presents.

Tyler gave me homemade bookmarks. This one features some of my favorite country singers. (Have I told you guys I'm in love with Kenny Chesney?) (P.S. I'm on the fifth Harry Potter.)

Kenzie gave me some office decor. Notice the business card holder. There's also the fake plant thing, the inspirational quote and the glass jar to hold pencils and pens.

Mom gave me earmuffs, and I sent her a picture of myself wearing them in the 30 degree weather the other day. I think she responded, 'LOL.' Mom is getting so hip.

On the left side of this photo is my New Orleans-themed artwork from my cousin Victoria. My room just keeps getting cuter and cuter.

Obviously, my other presents have all come in handy, too. Don't think that because yours isn't featured I haven't been using it. Don't stop giving me presents! I'll never be too old! Maybe I'll post more pictures next time to convince you.