Breaking Newz: A brilliant day

You know how when you go to a big city, you can always spot the tourists? You see people with cameras in hand, huffing and puffing it all over the place, maybe consulting a guidebook?

I think you see where I’m going with this. I am one of those people – maybe the worst of them all.

Even now that I live here, I spent the day being a tourist. I probably will never act like a local. For one thing, I know I’ll never cross the street without permission from the blinking light. Never, I tell you. Even in a few months, I guarantee you I’ll be waiting while the locals rush past me.

This morning, I went with my new friend Jackie and my old friend Shawn to visit the new Martin Luther King memorial. Last night, I suggested we start the day at 10 and as my alarm went off this morning, I hated myself. But, being the obnoxious tourist that I am, I persevered. I ate a big breakfast and hit the pavement (after waiting a few minutes for the walking light).

After MLK, we grabbed Subway and ate outside on this random island near the Washington Monument. It had a small memorial featuring signatures from those who signed the Constitution.

After Shawn left us, Jackie and I headed to the Smithsonian Natural History Museum, to meet up with all of the other tourists in D.C. On the way there, though, Jackie’s sandal broke.

We then took a detour to CVS hoping they sold flip-flops. When they failed us, we began walking to the H&M in Georgetown. (Poor Jackie is walking with only one shoe on.)

After one block, Jackie decided, since we were near a Metro station, we should just take the Metro home real quick. I cringed and told Jackie I couldn’t let her bare foot touch the ground in the Metro station.

Then, I had an epiphany. I remembered I had a ponytail holder in my purse. Surely, this would solve our problem. I suggested Jackie use it to hold her shoe on her foot until we got home.

Jackie wrapped the ponytail holder around her big toe and then the bottom of her shoe. When she stood back up, she was ecstatic. She said the makeshift shoe would certainly last the rest of the day.

I’m brilliant!

So, onward we marched. We headed to the Smithsonian Natural History Museum, and our shoes did indeed hang in there. Our legs, however, began to fail us.

As we dragged ourselves around the museum, we took every opportunity to sit for a second. We watched a little movie in nearly every section of the museum.

Then, when we were back outside, we were influenced by the pretty cloudless sky and the misconception that our walk home would pretty short, and we decided to walk home. Yay, let’s torture our legs some more! As soon as I got to my room, I called my mom back. Our conversation went more or less like this:

Sam: Hey Mom.

Mom: Hey Sam.

Sam: What?

Mom: Hello?

Sam: Mom?

Mom: Can you hear me now? Hello? Can you hear me?

Sam: No. It’s breaking up.

Mom: Move around a little.

Sam, walking in circles around my room on my aching legs: This is ridiculous.

Mom: I’ll go get in the car. Maybe that will help.

Sam: What?

And so on and so forth, with a little bit of actual conversation here and there, but not much.

Now, I’m stranded in the library, unable to move because my legs are in too much pain.

P.S. Does anyone remember this Full House episode – DJ calls a radio station to play “Name that Tune,” and the song is “Help Me Rhonda.” She whispers to Kimmy, “Help me, Gibler!” And the radio station is like, “Help me, what?” Then Uncle Jesse runs in the room and says, “Help Me, Rhonda!!!!”

I just listened to Help Me Rhonda, and now I really miss Full House.

Anyway, here are some pictures.