I
went to lunch with Grandma and Sandy. I ordered the Mahi Mahi, and so did they.
Little did I know as the waiter placed our meals in front of us, my dish was
drastically different from either of theirs.
The
fish had seasoning covering the top of it – bits of parsley, pepper and dark
unidentifiable objects, all of which I assumed were food.
While
naively participating in pleasant conversation with Grandma and Sandy, I
brought one of the last spoonfuls of my fish up to my mouth. Out of the corner
of my eye, I noticed … an antenna-like thing, poking out from the lump of food
on my fork.
I
calmly examined this antenna-like thing, convincing myself it was only part of
the seasoning. I removed the antenna-like thing, and, along with it, the body
of the bug that I nearly consumed.
Alarmed,
I showed Grandma and Sandy. I shuddered and thought the unthinkable. I was so
close to eating that bug and consequently collapsing to my death.
I
placed the bug on my napkin, while Grandma and Sandy inspected the remainder of
their food and cautiously continued to eat. The nice waiter soon came to visit
us and asked how everything was. … I pointed to my napkin and told him I
thought I found a bug. He whisked the napkin away, and, while scurrying out of
the room, said he’d show his manager and bring me a new plate. I hesitated,
pathetically, knowing I was full but also that I deserved another plate of
food.
I
recovered from my tragedy fairly well, eating the second piece of fish in a
matter of seconds (after scraping off the seasoning). I began to see the silver
lining – bug = free food. So, next time I see a spider running around my house,
I’m going to scoop him up, put him in my pocket and head to Chili’s.
Kidding.
I would never touch a bug.
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