My dad calls the local Chinese place and carefully delivers our order: I’d like three orders of fried rice … four orders of wontons … yes, four … four crabmeat rangoons … two orders of chicken … two pork … and a whole bunch of fortune cookies, please.
I am the lucky one chosen to pick up our order. I walk in, and I am presented with a large cardboard box filled with food. In addition to this, there are two large bags of wontons. As I’m debating how I should approach all of this, a nice woman in a kimono takes the two bags of wontons. I grab the box and lead the way to the car.
You know, I’ve had a very cultural week, actually. Before our Chinese feast tonight, I had sushi last night with my friend Morgan. She’s about to start college – I AM OLD – so I shared with her all of the wisdom I’ve acquired over the last four years.
After sushi, we went to TJ Maxx, where I debated on buying the following: a journal with a cover that said, “Someday these words will make me famous;” an early Christmas present for my sister (she’s a Chi Omega, whose mascot is the owl; every time I see owls, I debate); a new planner; a cupcake cookbook, because I should probably learn to cook at some point, and what’s more fun than cupcakes; and another picture frame, to match the green couch in my room (I’m trying to make my room more color-coordinated.) I also tried to convince Morgan to buy “101 College Safety Tips.” Oh, and I thought about a green pillow, too.
In the end, we bought nothing, but then we went to Barnes and Noble, where I did succeed in convincing Morgan to buy “Confessions of a Shopaholic.” I also bought another LSAT prep book and “The Help,” to see what all the fuss is about.
(Confession: I might be a shopaholic.)
Today, I went to Wal Mart with my dad. While he did the boring shopping, I found my way to the pillow aisle, where I decided on two green decorative pillows. (My room looks so perfect now.) Dad and I also decided we should invest in a magazine: “100 Hottest Country Stars.” The magazine features a small bio about each of my heroes and even awkward high schools photos of Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney and others.
Anyway, speaking of shopping, my brothers just got back from Academy. Excited about his new purchase, Tyler walked into the living room, put his shoes on and made a loud announcement – so loud that Dad, who is already lying in bed watching the news, can hear him.
Tyler, in the living room: I decided to get a Size 14. They were really comfortable.
Dad, yelling from his room: A 14?! Tyler, are you sure you’re a 14?
Tyler: Yeah! Come feel my toe!
Dad: No, Tyler. I’m sure it’s fine.
Tyler: Just come feel my toe!
Dad: No, Tyler, I’m not coming to feel your toe!
We Schotts are weird.
Example: Trevor set up an elaborate fantasy football league, including friends of mine, friends of Kenzie and friends of the boys. It’s a big motley crew, and Trevor is the leader/texter of the pack.
He sent a mass text out to his fantasy leaguers yesterday, reminding them of the 11 a.m. draft today. The text read, “I just want to remind everyone that the draft is tomorrow. If you have any questions, please contact me in a timely fashion.”
Tyler then asked Trevor, “Why didn’t you just say, ‘Hey guys. Call me if you need help.’”
Because he’s more professional than that, Tyler, duh.
By the way, guess who stopped in Mandeville on Thursday to get fro yo with me? If you said Kyle, you’re right. We got fro yo and talked about how much we miss D.C. and all the ghosts we’ve seen lately. Then, when we got back to my house, I introduced Kyle to my brothers … who were both napping in the living room after their long day at school. Tyler was sound asleep on the couch and Trevor sound asleep on the floor. I tried to wake Tyler for a game of Salad Bowl, but after Tyler’s whining and Kyle’s insistence that I let Tyler sleep, I gave up.
Hours later, however, when Tyler was fully conscious, he said, “Wait, Sam, did Kyle come over earlier?” I said, “Yes … I asked you to play Salad Bowl, remember?” Bewildered, Tyler said, “No! I wanted to play! Why didn’t you wake me up?!”
Kyle’s probably the only one who will really appreciate that, considering Kyle witnessed me badger Tyler for five straight minutes, trying to convince him to play. Tyler seemed awake enough to make a decision, but apparently he was not.
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