I look out the window and see an old man in a straw hat, riding what appears to be one of those electric scooters that allow you simply to ride along without any work on your part – a Segway, I think it’s called.
While this man is scooter-ing away from the window, with his back to me, I quickly jump up and close all the blinds. I then call my mom to tell her there’s a man in a straw hat riding around on an electric scooter in our backyard.
She tells me it’s the Fertilizer Man, and I don’t need to be worried. … So, it wasn’t necessary to dash around and close all the blinds? Oops.
I ask her to please warn me next time Fertilizer Man goes for a ride around the backyard.
About twenty minutes after Fertilizer Man leaves – still home alone – I suddenly hear country music begin playing loudly, from my living room, only 20 feet away.
Alarmed, I freeze and slowly scan the room for an intruder. … Fertilizer Man, I know you’re in here.
Before turning it off, I finish the last 10 minutes of my timed LSAT practice test, trying to ignore Shania Twain blaring from Dad’s iPod radio.
I imagine some kid sitting in his house nearby, turning on our radio from his room, like in Home Alone, now watching me from his window and laughing at me as I slowly creep around the living room.
I turn off the music and sit back down.
An hour later, the music starts again. I’m less alarmed and more confused. I turn it off and take the remote control back to my office in the kitchen. The music comes on one more time a little while later, and now of course it has been well behaved since the rest of the family got home. … Kyle, you need to come check my house for ghosts.
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