Monday, July 11, 2011

We've all got our junk

by: Sam

I just helped my mom pick out a new profile picture. Now I know where I get it from – my obsessive need to perfectly straighten every strand of hair before going out to eat, my refusal to pose for pictures if I don’t look nice, my commitment to wearing makeup everyday, even if just to run to the grocery store. (If the paparazzi strikes, I am ready.)

My mom, like myself, wants people to think she’s pretty. … Actually, we want people to think we’re stunningly gorgeous. Why yes, I’ve thought about going into modeling.

(Not really. I eat too much ice cream for that.)

Anyway, this turned into a pretty important decision. Which photo should she allow all ten of her Facebook friends to see?

(Keep in mind, I do exaggerate. I get that from my mom, too. … I have to give her some credit. She has more than ten Facebook friends.)

She dismissed one for the color of her outfit and another for the big funky sunglasses. Some she dismissed quickly and without explanation.

When we finally found one that was good enough, she announced that sometime soon we’ll take a nice picture of her.

Anyway, now let me tell you a story about my dad.

My dad needed something from my room yesterday – I’m still not sure what – but to find it, he went straight to my Junk Drawer, the drawer that houses a stapler, tape, paper clips, batteries, Christmas ornaments, my friend Kristen’s camera case, fake spiders, greeting cards I’ve bought far in advance for friends’ birthdays, etc.

(Before we continue, may I ask, do other people have Junk Drawers? Growing up, my mom always allowed me one Junk Drawer. When I’d clean my room during our annual cleaning, I never had to touch the Junk Drawer. That was allowed to be as messy as I’d like. So, to clean my room, I’d try to shove everything in there. Eventually, my Junk Drawer couldn’t shut, and it remained perpetually open, things spilled over the top. But I’ve come a long way since then. My current Junk Drawer now shuts easily, and there’s extra room, should I acquire more fake spiders.)

Anyway, Dad opens my Junk Drawer and is horrified. He yells to me – I’m in the kitchen – and tells me that I need to clean my room.

I’m surprised. I yell back, earnestly, that I thought my room was actually pretty clean.

He tells me I have all kinds of crap in this drawer.

“Well, Dad, that’s my Junk Drawer … . I don’t have to clean my Junk Drawer, do I? The other drawers are all clean, just not that one.”

(Keep in mind that I’m living with my parents, so Dad’s request is perfectly acceptable. It’s not as though he’s telling me to clean the apartment that I pay for. That doesn’t exist. He’s telling me to clean his drawer, really.)

My dad rolls his eyes, seemingly allowing me to leave the Junk Drawer as is.

Yay.

(P.S. Please don’t judge me for living with my parents. I have a plan. I also have a pretty good resume, if you’d like to see it.)

So, today, I spent the day studying, at my brand new LSAT Study Desk – a TV tray and folding chair, set up in the center of my room. This will be my office until October 1. (Kyle, come be my intern! Your primary job will be to keep the ghosts away.)

I also spent some time looking around the house for random things to shove into my Junk Drawer.

I also finished a great book today. I feel pretty accomplished. But I am still living at home with Mom and Dad, so whatever. Take it as you will.

Night,
Sam-tern

P.S. Andrew tied for second in the sand castle contest. (Everyone wins. There was a two-way tie for third, a two-way tie for second and one first place winner. But this doesn’t make me any less proud.)

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