Under the weather

by: Sam

I woke up yesterday feeling sick. A gland on the right side of my neck was very swollen, and my throat was very sore. I decided I could not move, and I should spend the entire day in bed, recuperating from my swollen gland.

Except I had a wedding to go to in Mobile. My friend Liz had driven to my house Friday night, and she and I were to carpool to Mobile, picking up Andrew along the way.

So I fought through the pain and stumbled out of bed. I took some Advil, got ready for the wedding and hit the road. As the Advil set in, I felt more and more invincible. This swollen gland has nothing on me.

Meanwhile, as I fretted over my illness, Liz played Words with Friends on her iPhone to pass the time.

“Sam, how do you spell violin?”

While waiting for the wedding to start, Liz occasionally halted a conversation to request that I take her turn in Words with Friends. I started to warn Liz that she would have to put her phone away when the wedding started.

The Advil did indeed help me through the day, and I was able to enjoy the wedding. I even found the energy to make fun of my friend Liz, when she began to cry as soon as the priest invited the wedding party forward for the vows.

Get a grip, Liz.

I even brought up the gifts during the ceremony, along with other Catholic Student Association members Liz, Andrew, Tori and Hannah. When the time came to gather at the back of the church and wait for our moment in the spotlight, Tori tells Liz she has a little something on her nose. Tori demonstrates to Liz how she should rub her nose to rid it of this obstruction. I also join in and begin showing Liz what she should do.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I notice one of the three photographers at the wedding trying to snap a nice photo of the gift bearers readying for their moment. I quickly tell everyone to remove their fingers from their noses and look reverent. What a Kodak moment.

The gift bearing went smoothly. I half-expected to look over and see Liz playing Words with Friends as we walked up the aisle. But I didn’t notice any horrified looks in her direction, so I assume she refrained. I also assume the mark on her nose went unnoticed.

After communion, when everyone was kneeling and reflecting – the most sacred time of the Mass – the woman in front of me looked at her friend and said, “Hey, when’s the last time you went to Mass? Last year?”

Looking offended, the friend responded, “No, I went last week!”

The skeptical woman examined her friend for a second, attempting to determine the truth in her statement, then she scoffed and said, “Yeah, right.”

After the wedding, we moved to the reception. It was raining outside, but our walkway to the reception hall was mostly covered. We only had to run about ten steps in the rain, unless you’re me, and you refuse to get your hair wet. Instead, I waited for one of the nice boys to walk over with an umbrella. (Yeah, I know. Diva alert.)

Once at the reception, the CSA folks all sat around together, talking about how old we are. We also danced a bit, while I marveled at my quick recovery from the morning’s illness.

Soon, the girls are called to the floor for the bouquet toss. Liz and I stand next to each other in the front right, and I prepare to make a phony attempt to catch the prize. (I’m a friend of the groom, and I’ve only met the bride once. I feared that if I caught it, I’d be given a quizzical look – “Who are you again?”)

Liz, however, had no fear. As the bouquet began sailing in the air, Liz leapt from my side. I feel certain that both of her feet left the ground as she soared in front of the group, stealing the bouquet in a manner I imagine James Bond might have done, had he been in such a situation.

She proceeded to take a picture with the bride, putting on a phony humble smile. Then, soon after, a Tweet was sent to my phone.

LizardP: I CAUGHT THE BOUQUET!!!

Correction: I stole the bouquet.

Congratulations, Liz. We’re all so proud of you. When’s the big day?

After the wedding, Andrew and I went to his sister’s house to stay the night. As soon as we arrived, my sore throat struck again, and I became really cold. The Advil had clearly worn off, and my body just wanted to go to sleep. So, I went to sleep at 10. Meanwhile, Liz was hitting the casino and making $16. (I’m sure the money will go toward her upcoming wedding.)

The drive back today was rather eventful. We hit lots of rain, and we rocked out to Katy Perry’s T.G.I.F. each of the twenty times it came on the radio.

Now, I’m home again, suffering from a sore throat and planning to visit a doctor tomorrow. Liz is still here, reading a Jane Green book that I recommended to her. (I’ve decided that Jane Green is my favorite author, and I’m trying to make all my friends like Jane Green, so we can talk about her books together.) (Also, I emailed Jane Green and asked her to read my blog.)

Thanks for reading,

Sam