Put a sock in it

by: Sam

We are the champions.

Kenzie and I, that is. Today, we competed against my mom and Ms. Cheryl, Mitch’s mom, in a few fierce rounds of Catchphrase. Usually, Kenzie and I aren’t allowed to be on the same team, because we always win. But Mom and Ms. Cheryl imagined they might be able to beat us.

Ha.

I should point out, before I continue, that my family plays Catchphrase the wrong way. Purposefully. As soon as the game entered our lives years ago on that fateful Christmas Day, we read the directions and decided we had a better way to play.

The directions said to pass the game around the circle. Each person gives clues for one phrase, and when their team guesses the phrase correctly, the game is passed to the next person who gives clues to their team. The game continues being passed until the buzzer goes off. The team holding it when the buzzer goes off is the loser, and the other team receives a point.

Instead, here’s what we do. Each team usually consists of two people. When it’s your team’s turn, you and your teammate sit across from each other and ignore the rest of the world. One teammate delivers the clues, and the other guesses until the timer goes off, winning as many phrases as you can. While this yelling is going on, someone is tallying your points.

So, here’s an example round for Kenzie and me:

Kenzie: Mary Kate and Ashley, their movie about the Big Apple…

Sam: NEW YORK MINUTE!!!!

Kenzie: On the last episode of the Bachelorette, she visited their…

Sam: HOMETOWNS!!!!

Kenzie: That country over there kind of like Afghanistan…

Sam: PAKISTAN!!!

Kenzie: Rosa Parks fought for…

Sam: CIVIL RIGHTS!!!!

Kenzie: Uncle Jerry used to work there…

Sam: RADIO SHACK!!!

And so on and so forth, until victory.

Here is an example of Mom and Ms. Cheryl:

Mom: If someone’s talking a lot and you just want them to shut up, you might tell them to… (Mom gestures to her foot and then to her mouth.)

Ms. Cheryl: SHOE!!!

Mom: Okay, what do you wear on your feet? Under your shoes? (Mom continues gesturing from her foot to her mouth.)

Ms. Cheryl: SOCK!!!

Mom: Yes! So … (Now Mom looks as though she’s frantically trying to put her fist into her mouth.)

Ms. Cheryl: SOCK IT!!!! SOCK!!!! PUT A SOCK IN YOUR MOUTH!!!!

*Timer buzzes*

Mom: Put a sock in it.

Ms. Cheryl: I don’t think I’ve ever heard that phrase.

And so on and so forth.

Except not really. They did okay sometimes. That was their worst moment, and I’ve rudely chosen it as their example. Shame on me.

After Catchphrase, Ms. Cheryl headed out, and Kenzie and I, high on our win, challenged Mom and Dad to a game. Mom said she’d had enough Catchphrase (Read: Sam and Kenzie are invincible. There’s no way.). So, she suggested Password.

Considering it was 8:45, we were lucky Mom and Dad were both even awake. So, we accepted and prepared to win again.

Except, this time we didn’t.

In Password, you can only give one-word clues. Play alternates between teams, going back and forth as each team gives a clue, one partner to the other. As clues are given, the point value for the word goes down.

So, like this:

Sam: Cut…

Kenzie: Knife?

Dad: Scalpel…

Mom: Incision!!!

Then, Dad, every time, lets out a loud, “Woohoooo!” He then leans over to Kenzie and watches her document his points.

“Kenzie, we got 9 points, not 7!”

“Dad, that is a 9.”

“Well, it looks like a 7.”

Kenzie obediently fixes her imperfect handwriting.

The game continues, and Mom and Dad become more and more confident. You see, when you only get to say one word, we Schotts end up putting a lot of inflection into that one word. Dad makes big bug eyes and raises his eyebrows at Mom, while Mom squints and concentrates to detect his telepathic message.

Other examples from tonight’s game:

Kenzie: Tumble…

Sam: Weed?

Mom: Dolphin…

Dad: Shark?

Kenzie: Name…

Sam: Flipper?

Mom: Panoramic

Dad: View?

“Wooohooooooo!”

Mom: Cast…

Dad: Break?

Kenzie: Shin…

Sam: Splint?

Anyway, Mom and Dad proceeded to destroy us. As Dad poetically put it, they gave us a can of Whoop Ass.

Then, a little while after our game, instead of saying goodnight, Dad poked his head to my room to tell Kenzie and me, “Panoramic?”

Yeah, yeah, put a sock in it.

Aside from playing games, my time has been consumed by my LSAT prep books. I’ve also spent a lot of time wondering what next week’s episode of the Bachelorette will be like. Kenzie has me hooked. I love J.P., as does the rest of the world, I imagine. I also liked Ames, but Ashley kicked him off last week, after calling him the perfect husband…. She’s such a buffoon.

But I can’t wait to see who proposes to her in two weeks!!!

Yay,

Sam